Do we really grow up … ever …

Grow up … get on with life … ab toh bade bann jaao … behave like a grown up … and many many more such phrases that we keep hearing in our day to day life and even quote them as if we ourselves have outgrown our past self … but do we really grow up, ever ?

I feel, I for one, haven’t grown up … at all maybe …

Things happen which just shake you to the core and you are never the same again … those thinking-altering things stay with you … the brain takes note of the surroundings, dictates your behavior and advances to its further learning … it doesn’t seem to care what effect that event has had on your heart and your personality as a whole … it seems to be just busy in its own calculations.

The persona changes however … you are no longer the same kid enjoying the blissful ignorance … you change to a responsible person suppressing your emotions and trying to act as if you are in control of the situation and are ready to wipe others’ tears … little do you realize that it is not you who is in control of the situation … it is the situation which has captivated you and your brain which is dictating the terms here. You decide that you will take this happening in your experience and move on … get over the situation thinking about the wonders of the healing power of time. But does time really have a healing power … can you really forget everything ? even if it repeats over and over again so much so that it has become a norm as against an exception ? Is your brain conditioned enough to breeze you through the most trying of times and the hardest of conditions ? Does the mighty Time heal everything, even your deepest wounds or the scar remains ?

And then some day when the heart decides to take its revenge, it just decapitates the “thinking” brain and acts as per its own sweet will. The visible effects of this change are mood swings, irrational thoughts, depression. These emotions fill you up and at times overflow and affect the people whom you are really close to. They may or may not like it, you may or may not like this public display of emotions, but you really seem to have no control over it. Childish as it may reflect in hindsight … the naive you accept that childish behavior as part of your growing up process and think that you’ve become more wiser on account of your experiences.

But, are they really steps of your learning curve ? or they are just experiences which expose the immature child within you ? I am still yearning for an answer, wondering if I’ll ever be enlightened with it …

Everyone seems to be hiding all their agonies behind a mask that he puts up for the world. Only the closest ones know what all is going unsaid and tormenting the heart behind the smiling face and happy-looking spirit. I strongly believe that we should try to be nice to everyone around us and not unnecessarily speak harsh words which might hurt them and further add on to their grief. You never know what the other person is hiding and putting up a cheerful front every single day. I know its easier said than done, but you got to teach your child to behave, in your feeble attempt to make it “grow up” … isn’t it ?