Mood Swings …

Yes … I am having them … again !!!

All of a sudden, since today afternoon, I am aware that I am not my usual self. I am feeling irritated, overwhelmed, bored, slightly angry and what not and I am looking for a corner which will have the calming, soothing effect on me. Trust me when I write this that I realize now that my mood swing started last night when I was surfing the internet. I didn’t realize that it was a mood-swing-onset and unknowingly named my favorite songs’ playlist – Soothing. Thinking back now, methinks I couldn’t have done anything even if I had realized that what I was having last night was a mood swing.

One thing I have noticed about these mood swings is that they kinda unnerve you, rock your poise, more often than not leave you sleeping more than usual and still feeling exhausted and many a times emotionally drained out and you really have to pull yourself up and get ready to start the new cycle of your so-called routine. And if you are lucky, your mood swing will happen on a weekend so that you get two full days to be at your worst and get over it ( assuming you are left alone by the time the second day of the weekend gets over ).

Today, I wonder what the mood swing has in its mind that it is making me write this post. I feel like ( or it makes me feel like ) jotting down my thoughts as they come to my mind about these mood swings. So, here I am, trying to do justice ( and get rid of my current swing-cycle ). Thinking about past such cycles, don’t know why … but when I have them, though I get irritated, I feel that if anything gives you a ( not so welcome ) break from your monotonous routine, it is these mood swings !

What causes them, trust me I have the faintest idea. My brain tells me that there could be many reasons for it – something happening the way you want it to happen, something not happening the way you want it to happen, something bothering you, something playing games on your mind, your body not or overly responding to the daily toll you take on it, people bothering you, your thoughts affecting your well-being, you are irritated on someone or by something, you want to do something but situation is tying your hands, … i can go on and on with my mind’s ramblings, but then … rationale tells you that if you know that these are the probable reasons for these mood swings ( as you call them ) then take guard and don’t let these reasons affect you or lead you into having these mood swings … and here is where my thought process chips in to say that “See – this is precisely why I told you that it is the factor that gives ‘human’ness to your boring life routine … the sheer unpredictability and the logic-defying nature of these mood swings. You know what might cause it to you, you know you can avoid it but you helplessly can’t do anything about it. The only option available is to bear them, make others around you ( who unfortunately fell in the spread of area around you when you are having your mood swings ) bear them and consequently make them bear you, be irritable and irritating or in your close shell avoiding others – which will again become irritating for others as they might feel you are being snobbish – and shutting off, ponder over the thoughts which come into your mind ( which many a times are just trash thoughts, I mean, no value add to anything or anyone ), try and pray mighty hard to get over your “swing” period and then get back on track to being your normal monotonous self.

Okay, I now feel like ending this post. I know it is an abrupt ending but hey, I have to obey my controller’s orders. Wonder if the root cause ( whatever it is ) behind my current cycle of mood swing will bestow its Grace upon me and leave me for writing so much about it … ( hope I didn’t use any harsh words for it to come looking for me again ).

Amen !

Advertisement